I want to begin something I planned for this blog from the very beginning when my first one finished and this one began about six months later.
Now I’m well into my third month and I guess it’s time I get myself to talk about it because it really is important to me. The subject at hand? Mental health as people like to put it. Or, my brain not quite working right in producing its chemicals. Or struggling with depression and anxiety. You can put any name on it you want to I guess. The name shouldn’t matter should it? It’s just what I’m going through in my mind, in my life. But it’s also what who knows how many others go through and more, worse.
At some point along the way I decided I liked being able to help people. I don’t know when, but ever since I’ve always been a friend ready to help and talk through problems. Because long before I was given my diagnosis, I was struggling. And I always felt that if I was miserable, what was it to try and make sure someone else wasn’t. That’s how I lived. How I grew because I didn’t want to live anymore.
I was 12 years old.
So that’s where this all began, but by no means has it come to an end. I’ve come to my conclusion that it never really does, because that’s the way life works. That doesn’t mean I can’t be happy, even if that’s still something I can struggle with on a day-to-day basis.
As I continue writing this post, I’m on a bad day. One of those ones where you find yourself just blank. The world doesn’t quite feel real and neither do I. Then comes the decision do I just go to bed or do I cry. Today is ending in a mix of the two. Along with some blogging at long last.
Honestly, I don’t know where to go with this anymore. There are so many things to talk about. From how it all began, to where I am now and all the stages in-between. Talking about it has never been easy for me. I’m too private, withdrawn. I pull back far too easily and distance myself as a solution. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to talk. I want to share. I want to hear other stories, give advice, receive advice. I want to add to the support that’s out there. This happens to be that beginning.
So thanks to my followers and readers that have been here so far. I hope you’ll take part in this newest part of my blog, the new introduction into my mind.
Time to see where this part of the adventure takes me.
That’s all I have at the moment. I don’t know if I got my message across well, maybe for some I did, others I didn’t.
To sum up, my goal is to give a support to others out there, struggling like me and unlike me. In all their different, unique ways.
Until next time,